🔗 Share this article That Floating Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Year. As we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. From awkward spin-offs to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote. The 'Sex and the City' Sequel Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful scripts, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third series started, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, viewers certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob? All’s Fair ‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’ But that was practically the least of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The laughably wooden writing? The tedious veneration of affluence and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of tropes? Acting so bad they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to. AKA Charlie Sheen Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while failing to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist. The Iris Affair Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost. MobLand Dodgy characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back. Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just really boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which seemed rather simplistic. The Meghan Markle Series Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as deliberate provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh. The Beckham Documentary There are clearly fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Rather, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series. The Game Show It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it. Too Much How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable. The Sketch Show Return Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’. Given the smart recruitment of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer. The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from oddly breezy, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Absolutely. Prime Target We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers. 1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for sexual escapades as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.